Butt Out

I finally had another entry here after a long hiatus from blogging.
Not that I have nothing to share ,
but more of finding a worthwhile purpose why bother blogging.
The inspiration came from my sister from Singapore, Ate Tatee,
who told me today she gets to know me more through this blog.
Ate, thanks for the sweet push. Love you!

I have a confession to make...
I'm smoking steadily for almost two years now.
I took it as a stress reliever from the pressures of med school.
To keep me awake and focused
while studying in the wee hours of the morning.
It did serve its purpose
but I developed a habit that caused more problems.
I never knew it can become an urge too good to let it pass.
After sometime, I found myself hooked into it.
I'd light at any time of the day,
especially during breaks and after meals.
It became a social thing for me too,
when at parties and when with friends.
Then came a point when I thought:
"Well hey, we all have our struggles, this is mine."
So I just did my own thing,
thinking that it's okay to show I'm human.
But in the back of my mind, I know it's wrong.
And I should stop it before this compulsion corrupts my being.

Then I started dreaming.
I finally found strength and reason to give it up.
I listed today 18 compelling dreams, my reasons to quit smoking now.

1. I want to be healthy. Be in the best shape all the time.
2. I want to be free from any illness that would take away my body, my relationships, my passions, my resources

3. I want to love my future wife for the longest possible time
4. So we can travel and see the world as we grow old, to take her out to dates more often
5. So I can take care of her as we grow old

6.I want to be there for my family for the longest time
7. So I can spend time with my children
8.So I can fully provide for their needs and have extra for life's simple pleasures
9. So I can watch them grow up and have a family on their own
10. So I can have the grandest time with my grandchildren

11. I want to be able to dedicate more time for my passions
12. So I can serve God more through music, and community
13. So my witnessing can have more meaning.
14. So I can write more songs and record them into albums
15.To go around the world playing music for the Lord

16.I want to be a great doctor who practices what I preach
17. To help others quit smoking too
18. So I can take care of more people, and be a channel of healing

My list doesn't end here.
I plan to write more everyday.
I'm butting out because I decide to.
And I'm going to make this decision every single day.
I think a lot of people get hooked into this self-destructing habit
because it is a cheap and readily available form of relief and company.
But this is temporary.
Fleeting in a matter of minutes.

I now decide to look forward to things that would lead to true happiness and companionship.
I start today.

Dearest Lord, you are a God who make all things new.
Help me with this decision, guide its progress,
and bring it into completion.
Amen.

Didoy